How Should I Respond?

Many people ask for guidance in how they should respond. Sometimes they ask about how to respond when someone in their family reveals they are a homosexual. Sometimes they ask about how to respond to friends or in a work situation. Below are answers to three typical questions.

How do you convince someone that being homosexual is wrong?

It is not your job to convince people that being homosexual is wrong. It is your job to share that God loves homosexual men and women - including them; that they can have real hope because God not only loves them, He has a realistic plan and a firm commitment to bring transformation and change into their lives.

What can I do to make a gay person change?

You cannot make anyone change. They must be motivated for themselves to want to change. But you definitely can play a very important part in assisting someone to overcome homosexuality or lesbianism.

First, you can pray for an unsaved homosexual person and share the gospel with them. If you are relating with a Christian struggling with this issue, you can pray for them, too. Pray God will give them the courage and perseverance to achieve sexual abstinence. Sexual activity usually covers deep wounds. Once activity stops, the "pain-killer" of sex wears off and underlying emotional pain can surface. Be there to listen and support them in this process.

Pray that God will help them see and find biblical solutions to underlying issues that may contribute to their homosexual orientation. Learn what you can about these problems and find someone with expertise that can counsel your friend. Pray the Lord will help them re-connect with His original design and purpose for them as a man or woman. If you are the same gender as your friend, you can play a tremendous part in his or her healing just by being a role model of what a godly man or godly woman is like. That means being vulnerable about your weaknesses, aggressively pursuing personal maturity, and above all, seeking to grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Don't discount your ability to help someone leave homosexuality and into all that God plans for their lives. Be a friend: encourage, confront, listen, share. Go side-by-side with them through the challenging adventure ahead.

If I have anything to do with a gay person, am I approving homosexuality?

Few people ask this question about socializing with gossipers, liars, people from non-Christian religious backgrounds, etc. Why do so many people ask this question about homosexuality? The Bible repeatedly tells us God is shows neither favoritism for or prejudice against anyone. Jesus considered himself "a friend of sinners" and was called the same by others because he socialized with tax collectors, prostitutes and others. Yet Scripture never says that by doing this He approved the way they lived their lives or the sins they committed. Instead Scripture says that they became His followers and disciples, largely because He offered them Godly love and grace rather than religious condemnation and rejection. Wouldn't it be better for Christians to view a gay person as someone in need of the same things that we all need - the good news of redemption from our sins by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross? If you know the truth and do not show favoritism or prejudice, interacting with someone who is involved in homosexuality shouldn't shake you or your faith, whether in a social or work setting. Neither will it mean you approve of homosexuality.