Is Change Possible?

This question often has many different meanings. And there is a lot of confusion and misinformation about this question. Ultimately change is about a relationship with Jesus Christ and a resolution to live in congruence with biblical teaching on sexuality. Several kinds of change are possible and the potential for change brings hope into the lives of people who have been told there is no hope for them because they cannot change.

"Perhaps one of the biggest concerns for the person on the street is whether we are stuck with our genetic inheritance, or whether we can overcome our genes. ‘Absolutely,’ Hamer reassures. ‘One of the biggest myths is that something is genetic is therefore fixed. This simply isn’t true.’ It’s what we do with our genes that matters. Someone who relishes novel experiences might use this trait for good or for bad — to become a great explorer or a violent criminal. ‘All these genes do is to give us a disposition one way or another. Whether we act on that —or don’t — is very much a matter of our free will.’” [The Power of Our Genes: An Interview with Dean Hamer, Science & Spirit, December 1998].

A lot of damage has been done by Christians offering a simplistic concept of change. Many give the admonition that homosexuality is sin and that people just need to stop sinning. This approach lacks understanding and probably lacks compassion as well. While behavior is certainly one aspect of homosexuality, there are other facets of homosexuality that can also be changed. To address only the behavior is like looking at the tip of the iceberg while ignoring the bulk of ice beneath the water line.

Christ came that we may have life and have it abundantly - not to live in bondage to unwanted desires. We can act upon those feelings or not and still be in bondage to them. When the struggle to give in to these unwanted desires consumes much of our time and energy every day, where is the freedom and abundant living?

By change we mean that homosexually-oriented people can:

• Change behaviour -- that is, stop involvement in a same-sex sexual activities
• Change our sense of identity - meaning change the way we define ourselves
• Change in lifestyle
• Reduce, manage and in some cases, practically eliminate homosexual feelings and attractions
• And in many cases (though not all), experience satisfying heterosexual relationships.

We have several articles that explore the answer to this question in more depth. Click here to go to the articles section.

Some people find their same-sex attractions conflict with their moral and religious beliefs. Not willing to abandon or revise their moral and religious beliefs, they want to deal with their attractions in light of the Scriptures on which they base their moral and religious beliefs. Unfortunately, for some this has led some to the dreary decision to attempt to deny and/or repress their desires. The good news is that after years of isolation, shame and rejection, the message of real change is a breath of life!

For others, homosexual attractions have taken control of their life. The search for that one person who will satisfy their deep inner longings never seems to end. For some that pursuit has turned very sexual. That person becomes merely a warm body who can ease the pain and longing for a night, or for a short while - and yet those inner longings are still aching to be filled. Maybe the next one will be the one ... and so the search goes on. For these, the message of change brings the hope for an end to the unfulfilling cycle of sex.

For others, their life has been filled with a series of relationships, each starting with hope and excitement. Each one, however, getting caught up in jealousy, emotional dependency or unfaithfulness. The relationships end in heartbreak and disillusionment. The message of lasting change offers true fulfillment in relationships.

Yet others dealing with same-gender attractions have considered the impact their pursuit of a gay lifestyle would have on their loved ones. Finding the message of real change gives hope for their marriages and family.

One last thought. Society holds out the hope for change to just about everybody else. If there is something unsatisfying in your life, you don’t have to be stuck there. The issue could be anything ranging from losing weight, finding a job, education, poverty, relationships, cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. Whatever the issue is - society says that change is possible. Except for one group of people - those affected by homosexuality. To this group many say that change is not possible. How unkind, hurtful and intolerant, it is for others to say that while change is possible for everyone else, it is not possible for homosexuals - for this one special group of people there is no hope for change. The many people involved in Exodus think differently. They believe and know that change is possible, and that people who want to change should be able to get help in working through the change they seek.

Having described the kinds of change that is possible and why people want to change, the next question is whether anyone has actually changed. For many the best answer is real-life examples, letting people tell you their experiences about the changes in their lives. We have posted a selection of statements from people about their experiences. These are in the testimonies section.