Free from the Bondage of Homosexuality
My name is Oscar Galindo and I have lived in Mexico all my life. I was born into a Presbyterian family and raised in the Presbyterian Church until I was fifteen. I am the youngest of three: my brother is the oldest, then my sister and finally me. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. My father always tried to provide our material needs but he never was a warm or loving parent.
I longed to have a father. My mother worked as a teacher and I used to tell her: "Mom, I want to have a father. Would you get one for me please?" or "I like Teacher Juan" or "Would you ask him to come to live with us?" But it never happened.
When I was only 14 I became more and more involved in anonymous sex. I was very impulsive. While riding on the buses I would sit with a guy and try to touch him. Sometimes the fellows would beat up on me, while others thought I was going to rob them and they would get very angry with me.
My family was aware of my situation. My mother took me to a doctor for a physical because she feared that maybe I had contracted a venereal disease. She also took me to other doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. But I went only because I wanted her to realize that I WAS NOT GOING TO CHANGE. I didn't want to change and consequently nothing happened.
I began to attend gay parties, to drink, and to come home very late. My mother was very upset, and she tried to "change" me. I got more upset than she was, so I decided to leave home. I ran away to one of the biggest cities in the world: México City (2 hours from my home). There I met a lot of gay people and, although I eventually returned home, from that time on I would go to Mexico City frequently to visit the bars, discos, sex theaters and saunas.
I had my first gay partner when I was 17 years old. I really "fell in love" with this guy but he hurt me very much. My entire family knew that I had a very unhealthy relationship with this 22-year-old bisexual football player. Once, he encouraged me to drink heavily. After that experience I vowed that I would never go through another experience like that one again. From then on I tried not to be the victim but rather the victimizer.
As I realized that gay relationships usually involved a lot of conflict, I began to drink more and more, and I would go on weekend binges.
This went on until I was 25 years old, sometimes trying to find a lover, always asking myself whenever I met someone, "Could this guy be Mr. Right?" I tried to have a good relationship, only to get frustrated sometime later. I found refuge in alcohol and with anonymous sexual encounters at red-light theaters, saunas, public restrooms and wherever.
At the age of 25, after a drunken binge, I was feeling ill and my health was extremely damaged. I had been living with my mother but she was working in another city at the time. I was lonely, very down heartened, feeling frustrated, depressed, and in great pain physically, emotionally and spiritually. I made an assessment of my life: I was alone, sick, my lifestyle had only brought me pain, grief and despair. I needed to change, but I had tried and hadn’t been able to.
While I pondered on this, in the darkness of my living room, two "angels" suddenly appeared! Two sisters from a Christian church had entered my house and they told me "We are here because Jesus loves you, and we love you too." They hugged me, they kissed my cheeks and shared the good news of salvation with me. I started to sob and in the middle of crying I asked the Lord to enter my life. I cried continuously for an entire week!
I began to "drink" something else: the Bible, to memorize verses. And when I could, I started to attend a church. I looked for information about ex-gay ministries. I found one in Mexico City. They didn't know much about how to help. I knew that homosexual desires would not instantly disappear. I believed God would be doing something… but when? I didn't have the answer.
I sought out a deliverance ministry because I had been involved in some activities that opened doors to demons. The deliverance ministry helped but the desires did not disappear. There was no counseling available at my church. Sometime later, I started to fall sexually. I was very disappointed with myself but not with God. I knew that it was my responsibility, but I didn't know how to gain control over temptations. The teachings in church seemed too "spiritual" for my needs.
Then I heard about Exodus. I started to buy some books, testimonies and resources from them. Although I didn't know very much English, I decided that I was going to translate those books, teachings and testimonies (that's the way I learned most of the English I know). It took 6 months to translate the first book: "Counseling the Homosexual" by Michael Saia. I began to learn more and more, about the root causes of homosexuality, emotional dependency, the reality of change, and a lot of things. I was really starving for all that information. Later (maybe years later), I came to realize that knowledge, by itself, does not bring restoration and fulfillment. That wasn’t accomplished by reading the huge library I had obtained, but rather through a personal relationship with God, little by little, step by step, day by day, during these 10 years. Learning in a practical manner sometimes has been trying, painful and frustrating. But the Holy Spirit has helped me to keep on, to wait on God, to trust Him regardless of my expectations and unanswered questions. In spite of my failures, I deeply desired whatever it was that God had in store for me.
Looking back, I realize that all the effort has been worthwhile. I'm living a new experience of freedom and a renewed relationship with the Father. I am no longer involved in homosexual activity. Sometimes I still feel attracted to men but the thought of homosexual sex makes me feel a little nauseous. I don't see myself behaving like a homosexual anymore. I confess my temptations to God immediately, before they become sin, and I go on, resting in the Lord.
I know that I must have a personal, daily and constant moment-by-moment relationship with Jesus in order to keep on the way to become stronger, healthier, and to grow in my masculinity and in my heterosexuality. As I learn more from God, I realize that I need Him more and more, and that I still have a long road to travel.
Now I have the freedom to share about this journey of restoration and declare that it is possible to come out of homosexuality, but the best way to do it and the primarily thing to do is to establish a personal, intimate, deep, permanent, daily relationship with our Creator.
We have recently started the first support group in one of the biggest cities of the World: México City. We help strugglers, family members and friends. We have been praying for this for many years and now I can almost hear God’s audible voice confirming this call in my life. In the meantime I continue in my daily walk with the Lord, growing in Him, learning from Him, “running with perseverance the raced marked for us, with my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”